Everyone can improve their conversation skills. Many of us will have conversation habits that have been embedded into our personality throughout life that we need to eradicate. Below are common mistakes many of us have made in conversations and some solutions.
Not Listening
A lot of people can’t wait for their time to talk. They will impatiently wait their turn and not listen to what the other person is saying. Put your ego on hold and actually listen to people.
When you begin to listen, you’ll pick up on potential topics to discuss and continue the conversation further. For example, if someone says that they went away to Paris for the weekend you can ask:
- Where did you go in Paris?
- What did you like about Paris?
- How did you get to Paris?
The person will dig deeper into the subject which will give you more information to play with. As they start to open up, the conversation will become more interesting and you will build rapport.
Avoid yes or no questions such as, ‘would you go to Paris again?’ This type of question doesn’t give you much information.
Asking Too Many Questions
Asking too many questions can feel like an interrogation and reveals that you don’t have much to contribute to the conversation. Instead mix your questions with statements. You could skip the question and say:
- Yeah, I love weekends away. I went to Paris a few years ago and visited the Eiffel Tower. It has a great restaurant on the first floor.
- Nice. We went to a few bars in Paris and tried the local nightclubs.
The conversation can then flow on from there and you can discuss the Eiffel Tower, Paris night life and other tourist attractions.
Not Handling Awkward Silences
When you’ve just met someone for the first time, a conversation can come to a halt when you run out of topics to talk about. To avoid awkward silences you should do the following:
- Before you leave home or work to go to an event, read the latest news. If you start running out of things to say then you can always start talking about current events.
- On your way to the event, look out for local attractions and bring up topics related to the local area.
- If you feel nervous when you first meet someone, assume that there is rapport. Smile and start talking with a friendly and relaxed attitude. Imagine you’re talking to your friends.
Poor Delivery
In conversation, it’s not important what you say but how you say it. Your voice and body language is very important when communicating so think about the following:
- Speak up. Don’t be worried about talking loud so people can hear you.
- Don’t mumble and speak clearly.
- Don’t speak with a monotone voice. Speak with emotion that reflects your feelings.
- Slow down when you’re talking and pause when you need to.
- Learn how to improve your body language by reading 25 Beta Male Body Language Mistakes.
Arguing
Avoid arguing and having to be right all the time. Everyone has a different point of view. A conversation is not really a debate. Relax and let the conversation flow.
Being Boring
Don’t talk about your new computer for 20 minutes when it’s obvious the people you are talking to aren’t interested. Be prepared to drop a topic when you start to bore people or the conversation will run out of steam.
One good way to prevent being boring is to lead an interesting life. Talk about positive topics that are funny and exciting. Read my post How to Become Interesting to Women.
Not Contributing
If you feel that you don’t have much to contribute to a conversation, you should still try. Listen to what others are saying and show an interest. Ask questions and make statements.
Hogging the Spot-Light
Everyone should have their time to speak in a conversation. Don’t interrupt people when they are discussing their view and bring the attention back to you. Listening and talking needs to be balanced.
Talking About Negative Topics
There are certain topics you should avoid when talking to people you have just met. Bad health, religion, politics, how rubbish your job is, bad relationships, technical jargon are topics that ruin the positive energy in a conversation.
Not Reciprocating
Open up and say how you feel and share your experiences. Don’t just stand there nodding, not saying anything or answering with short sentences. Get involved in the conversation.
Use These Conversation Tips In Any Situation
Whether it’s talking to a friend, a group of people, work colleagues, even a hot lady you’ve just met, these conversation tips will help you master the art of conversation and become the man that everyone wants to talk to.
To Your Success In Life,
Steve Harold
