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A Beginners Guide to the Perfect First Date

by nick

So, you’ve finally got a girls number and you’re ready to set up the date. While first dates can be nerve-racking; with proper planning and preparation, you can easily craft a memorable first date that you’ll both enjoy.

To help you get through your first date without a hitch, we provide you the following beginners first date guide.

Deciding Where to Go

Women love a man with a plan. It shows that you can think ahead, you have initiative and you’re confident enough to take the lead. Don’t ask her what she wants to do. Be a man! You asked her out, so it’s your role to come up with something that she’ll enjoy. When you’re deciding where to go, consider the following:

Base it on common interests. During your first conversation with a girl, try to find out her interests, hobbies and passions while sharing yours too. That way, it’s far easier to come up with a date idea that is fun and relevant to both of you.

Don’t spend too much money. Sure, treating a girl to a fancy night out is a great thing to do, but there’s no need to go overboard on the first date. Keep the first date easy, fun and romantic.  Going overboard can put a lot of unnecessary pressure on the evening and even scare her away. You come across too strong, too early, and convey the wrong message. You’re trying to buy her affection rather than letting it develop naturally by just being yourself.

Keep the date simple. Nothing’s worse than waiting in a traffic jam or driving in endless circles trying to find a parking space; or queuing outside the bar for an hour in the cold. Bear this in mind when deciding what to do on a first date. Keep it simple and save the more complex dates for the future meetings.

Encourage conversation. The whole point of the first date is to get to know each other. Therefore, no movie, theatre or concert dates. You can’t converse while you’re staring at a movie screen, watching a play or listening to your favourite band.  You want to flirt, laugh and build attraction. Choose dates that give the opportunity to talk freely and often.

Make the date just the two of you. The first dates should be spent with just the two of you. Although it may be easier to ask her out with you and your friends, you’re much more likely to create a more intimate connection without other people around.

Selecting Where to Go

The not-so-safe-option. Eating out is probably the most popular choice for a first date. However, it’s not for everyone. Sitting opposite someone you barely know through a 5-course meal can be unnerving for both parties, and if you find there is no rapport it can be awkward, stressful and feel more like an interview rather than a date. You need to be a strong conversationalist and at ease with the situation if you’re thinking about dinner on a first date. But, if you’re inexperienced or haven’t been on a first date in a while, try something less formal such as…

The safer option. Going for a quick drink or meeting for lunch are reliable choices and far more relaxed compared to dinner. If the date isn’t going well, neither of you feel forced to sit through an entire meal before leaving. If you’re not having a great time you can always leave by saying that you have errands to run or you’ve got an early start in the morning. However, if it is going well, you can always move onto another location or even go back to your place. [Read: Best Places to Go for a Great First Date]


Pick a date. Select a date when you’re both free and allow you enough time to prepare.

Make a reservation. If you’ve decided to take her somewhere that requires you to make a reservation or buy tickets, make sure you sort it well in advance – not a few hours before the date.

Call her and tell her exactly what you’re going to be doing on the date. Once you’ve decided where you’re going, call her a few days before the date and let her know what you’ll be doing. Women like to plan ahead so they can decide what they’re going to wear. Women hate being unsuitably dressed for an occasion.

Clean your car. If you’re picking her up at her place, make sure you give your car a nice clean inside and out before the date. First impressions matter. Even if you’re looking your best; if your car is untidy, she’ll judge you and assume that’s how you live your life – an unorganised mess!

Dress to impress. Be sure to prepare what you’re going to wear a day before your date. Otherwise, you’ll probably find your favourite shirt hasn’t been washed or ironed 15 minutes before you’re supposed to be somewhere.

Making an effort will leave a good first impression. Even if you’ve planned a causal date, wear something smart and presentable. [Read: How to Dress for a First Date]

Get some cash. Stop at the ATM on your way and draw out some cash. Not every place accepts debit cards as a form of payment. Not being able to pay or asking her to cover the bill will be embarrassing. [Read: What to Carry on a First Date]

The Meet

Be on time. Always aim to be on time. If you’re running late and it’s out of your control, call your date and let her know how long you’re going to be.

Also, if you’re meeting at her place, don’t turn up too early. She’ll be getting ready and will want every available minute.

Pay her a compliment. Women spend a lot of time and effort getting ready. If you genuinely think she looks stunning, let her know. To build attraction and trust, you need to break her touch barrier. Begin the date with a big hug. This shows that you’re comfortable with being close to her.

If you’re driving… instead of listening to music, try talking. First dates are for getting to know each other better

If you’re getting a cab… tell the cabbie where you’re going, and pay.

The Date

Engage in conversation. Let the conversation flow naturally. If the conversation is getting boring, take charge and change the subject. Good topics to discuss are; travel, current events, her likes and dislikes, her aspirations, and what she does for fun etc. Don’t ask her the same old boring questions like ‘what’d you do for a living?’ Instead ask her playful questions like ‘what’s your favourite color?’ The point of the first date is to get to know each other. Share your passions and interests, but keep the topic of conversation mostly focused on her. [Read: The Art of Dating Conversation]

Flirt, tease and touch often. As the date continues, playfully tease her. Make tongue in cheek comments about something she says, how she is acting or something you notice about her. As you both carry on getting to know each other better, you want to playfully and openly touch her. Gently nudge her when she says something funny or laughs at one of your jokes. When she tells you something personal, show your interest by briefly placing your hand on her arm or shoulder. When leading her somewhere, hold her hand or touch the small of her back and guide her with you. Continue with the playful banter and when you feel the time is right, surprise her with a spontaneous kiss.

You pay. If she offers to pay, smile and say, “It’s my pleasure,” and hand over your card. If she offers to split the bill, don’t let her.

Ending the Night

Walk her to the door. You want to make sure that she gets home safely. As you walk to the door, offer her your hand.

She invites you in? You’ve already broken the romantic barrier by kissing and making her feel comfortable and turned on from your casual touches. If she asks if you’d like hang out at her place, accept the invitation. If she makes a move, feel free to stay and continue. Don’t try anything outright, but if it happens, go with it. Whatever you do, don’t ask if you can come in. It reeks of desperation and will turn her off. [Read: How to Get Her Back to Your Place]

If you don’t get lucky… don’t worry. Give her a kiss and a hug goodbye and leave. There’s always next time!

The Follow Up

Call her the next day. We’ve all heard about the three day rule. Forget it and call her the next day. If she likes you, she’ll want to keep in touch. Thank her for a great evening and if you had a great time, ask her out for a second date.

If she doesn’t pick up, leave a message and ask her to call you back. If she doesn’t call back after a couple of days, take the hint and find another woman that’s worth your time.

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