When I first started lifting weights and building muscle, it was for one reason only; to attract women. I thought that I’d automatically become irresistible to women if I had massive shoulders, bulging biceps, and a ripped six-pack. And could you blame me? With today’s image-conscious media, it is easy to understand why so many men make a connection between having a muscular physique and having women fall at their feet.
So do you need big muscles to attract women? Well, the answer is no, and if you still think that being built like a bodybuilder will instantly attract a lot of women, then it’s time for a reality check! Here’s why…
It is deeply fixed into most guys’ heads that when it comes to building muscle, that bigger is always better. Look at any men’s health and fitness magazine, and you’re likely to see some shirtless model with a ripped torso and veins popping out all over the place. Achieving a body like this takes years of weight lifting and dieting that most men don’t have the time or motivation to achieve. And this is why the guys you see when you’re out and about are going to be of all different shapes and sizes.
Think back to your last night out at a bar. Now ask yourself, which guys in the room generally appeared to be getting all the attention off women? Were they all bigger than you and built like a brick shit house? I’m guessing not. It’s not a guy’s muscular physique that grabs a woman’s attention; it’s who a guy is that’s attractive to women.
Now let’s say that you’ve noticed a few muscular guys in the room that do seem to get a lot of female attention. Do you still believe that women only talk to them because of their ripped physiques? The truth is, women don’t automatically fall at a man’s feet at the sight of his broad shoulders and bulging biceps; otherwise, you’d see women doing it all the time. In the real world, his confidence is in doing the talking, not his muscles.
The Myth That Being Strong Attracts Women
If you want to attract women, you don’t need big muscles. There are plenty of reasons why women are attracted to men that don’t have huge muscles. Some find a sense of security in a man who is bigger and stronger than them, but for others, it’s about the personality and self-confidence that comes with size.
If you have weak or skinny arms, it might actually make you more attractive. But think about it—the average man is never going to have Popeye-sized forearms and biceps, so having bigger muscles isn’t going to help you stand out from other guys.
On the other hand, toned, slender arms can show off your strength in a very appealing way and indicate that you take good care of yourself. The proper posture goes a long way, too—standing with your shoulders back and looking like an alpha male will project confidence as much as your actual size.
It’s More about How You Act than How You Look
The most important thing is that you are confident. Women like men who are funny, relaxed, and intelligent. And they also appreciate a sense of style; if you can act like that, then it won’t matter how big your muscles are or how good-looking you look (although they will certainly help).
If you’re confident and funny, then it won’t matter if you have a big nose or bad teeth. Even if you’re not the best-looking guy in town, women will still find you attractive. It’s all about how you act—and your body language says more to a woman than anything else.
Change Your Mindset
Of course, a guy who works out often and keeps himself in good shape will have a confidence boost and feel good about himself. In turn, his confidence will attract women. However, it would be wrong for you to think that if you did the same, you’d automatically improve your success with women.
You could be in the best shape of your life, but if you lack confidence and are intimidated by the women you find appealing, attracting women will still be difficult. Women are attracted to men with confidence.
When it comes to attraction, women are naturally less superficial than men. Instead, they’re attracted to confidence, personality, and humor.
Many people think it takes big muscles, bulging biceps, and rock-hard abs to attract women. This is a very narrow-minded way of thinking about attracting women. The truth is that attraction is far more than physical features. Personality, hygiene, and values all come into play regarding how we see other people.
Having said that, it’s important not to undervalue how much physical attraction does play a role in being able to attract women. After all, it’s not every day that you get approached by someone for your personality or other qualities, and even if you do, oftentimes, looks are still a significant factor.
If you’re looking for ways to improve your physical attractiveness, lifting weights is definitely one of them. It can help build up muscle mass, tone your body and change your posture while at the same time increasing testosterone production, which will make you more assertive and feel better overall.
Women have a strong desire for security in their relationships, and you can be sure that they don’t want a man who’s afraid of commitment or has no sense of humor. Women want someone who will be there for them through thick and thin—and if you do anything that makes her feel insecure about herself (like being too big), then she’ll find someone else with more style.
So, if you’re lacking confidence now, would go to the gym 4-5 times a week to build a muscular physique change anything? Not really. Yes, women are attracted to strong men, but it’s not necessarily physical strength that attracts women; it’s also mental and emotional strength (i.e., confidence, leadership, alpha male mindset, etc.). Women are attracted to men who are confident in themselves, their own man, and ambitious in life. So, when you become this guy, women will be attracted to you; if you’re one of the unlucky ones who haven’t learned how to be confident and attract women, read How to Become an Alpha Male and learn.
Work Out Because You Want To
Don’t get me wrong, working out regularly and looking after your health can only be a positive thing. But if you’re spending hours every day down the gym, then you’re totally missing the point. Of course, having a V-shaped torso and a lean, strong midsection, women are going to find you attractive. But you should work out because you want to, not because you feel women want you to. No matter how big your muscles are, if you lack confidence, then women are going to feel mentally and emotionally stronger than you, and that is a significant turn-off for women.
Women want a man that can protect them and confidently handle himself in today’s modern world. Women no longer want the beefiest, guy they can find, but someone with more mental and emotional strength than she has, so she can rely on him to protect and guide her through life when needed.
The Truth About What Attracts Men to Women Emotionally
When it comes to attracting women, most men are insecure about their masculinity and worry that they don’t measure up. But, in reality, what attracts a woman emotionally is not his biceps but rather his emotional vulnerability.
A man with the confidence to show his feelings with vulnerability is much more attractive than any guy with bulging muscles. While there’s nothing wrong with wanting bigger muscles, if you’re worried about whether or not you’re big enough, focus on your emotional development instead.
Skinny Guys Can Get Girls Too
Now, I’m not saying that you should go out of your way to make yourself look like an ape. In fact, if you were to shave off your body hair and wear a t-shirt with “Skinny Guy” written across the front in big yellow letters, women would still be attracted to you.
But suppose there’s one thing we’ve learned from studying human behavior over thousands of years (and it’s not just because of evolution). In that case, it’s that men are inherently less superficial than women. This means that when a woman meets a man who has good looks but doesn’t act like an asshole—or at least doesn’t act like someone who acts like an asshole all the time—she’ll automatically start thinking about him as more than just another pretty face.
In other words: don’t worry about having big muscles or being handsomely endowed before trying this approach.
Take Home
So, forget the male models in magazines with their perfect six-pack abs and be more realistic. I recommend that all men should work out in some form, but if you’re busting your balls down the gym to bulk up purely to attract women, then you’re wasting your time. Do it for your own well-being and because you enjoy it, not because you think women will see you as strong and find you irresistible.
