Blind dates set up by family or friends can be quite exciting, yet a bit riskier than a first date with a girl that you’ve already met. With the right mindset, a blind date can be an interesting adventure rather than a dreaded and stressful experience.
So, if you want to ensure that you enjoy your blind date and that it runs smoothly, here are some helpful guidelines to follow the next time someone says, “I have got the perfect girl for you!”
How a Blind Date Works
A blind date is when you go on a first date with a woman that you don’t know. You haven’t seen them before, nor have you spoken to them or met them in person. Usually, someone you know (typically a friend of theirs or a family member) arranges for you to meet a woman for the first time, or you’ve met someone interesting on a dating website. In theory there is no such thing as a blind date anymore. With today’s technology, you can easily search your date’s name on the internet to find out everything about them that they’ve shared on websites such as Facebook. However the term ‘blind date’ is still relevant because both of you still haven’t exchanged any words with each other in person.
Why Blind Dates Are Different
When you’re on a night out looking for a woman to pick up, you have control over who you approach. So it can be assumed that you’re physically attracted to the woman when you first approach her. After a few minutes of conversation, you may decide that you’re not interested in her and can politely end the conversation and make a quick exit. However, when you’re on a blind date you don’t have this option. It is extremely difficult, if not impossible, to cut short a blind date that you’re not enjoying without coming across as rude and pissing off the person who set you up with her. So, there is a different approach needed when it comes to blind dates which I have set out in these rules below.
The Blind Date Rules
Find out as much as you can about her first. Before you agree to go on a blind date, try to get as much information about her as you can. Ask the person setting you up why they think that you and this woman would be a perfect match.
If they’re able to tell you the things that you have in common that could make a good basis for a relationship or friendship, that’s great. You can then expect to have an easy-going conversation about your interests on the date, so you’re pretty much guaranteed to have a fun time no matter the outcome. However, if the person that’s setting you up starts to stutter and seems to be trying hard to find reasons as to why you should meet her, then it’s likely that they’ve been pressured into finding someone, and now anyone will do.
This normally means that your blind date is going to be unattractive. So ask for a picture. This shouldn’t be too difficult as most people are on Facebook these days. If you’re not even remotely attracted to her, avoid the date altogether. There’s no point wasting your time and it’ll only knock her confidence when you tell her that you don’t want a second date.
On the other hand, if you do find her attractive then find out more information about her likes and interests so you have something to talk about when you’re on the date. “Gemma tells me that you enjoy travelling. What have been some of your favourite places that you’ve visited?” Then all you have to do is listen to her answer, flirt and tease with her and tell her some stories about the things you’re interested in.
Plan a quick date. When meeting her for the first time, it’s a good idea to meet in a fairly crowded place, like a coffee shop or a bar on a week night. Plan a date that has a time limit on it and keep it simple such as lunch or meeting for a quick drink after work. This way, you’ll be able to exit quickly and easily if you’re not having a great time. You can always leave by saying that you have errands to run or that you’ve got to be up early the next day. You’ve carried out your part of the deal by helping your friend out, you weren’t rude to your date and you avoid the pressure of a long, awkward evening.
Then again, if you’re both having a great time, a quick drink can turn into dinner or you can agree to meet again another time after your lunch.
Setting up the date. Firstly, make sure that the person who has set you up on the blind date has let the woman know that you’re going to call. When you ring her, introduce yourself and remind her about who suggested that you call her. Have a brief conversation for at least five minutes before suggesting a time and place to meet. Don’t refer to the meet as a date. Instead call it a catch up, making it sound as casual and relaxed as possible.
It’s a good idea to choose a bar or café that is close to where you both live or work if you’re planning to meet for drinks or lunch. Or, if you do plan an evening or day out, pick an activity that you know that you’ll both enjoy. For example, if you both like comedy, take her to a comedy club. If you both like art, take her to an art gallery or museum. Just make sure that you plan something in advance and if needed, make reservations or buy tickets beforehand so that you’re not hanging about waiting for a table or find out that you can’t get into somewhere. [Read: Preparation: The Key to a Successful First Date]
Be easy going. Remember that the girl you’re meeting is likely to be as nervous and uncomfortable about the blind date as you are. Create a relaxed vibe by being easy going and relaxed yourself. She will then be relaxed and enjoy the date herself. Arrive on time, be polite and dress to impress. [Read: How to Dress for a First Date]
Make conversation. Ask her open-ended questions to encourage conversation and see if you have any mutual interests. Good topics to talk about include; likes and dislikes, current events, travel, friends and family, future plans and what she does for fun. [Read: The Art of Dating Conversation: Dos and Don’ts]
Ending the date. If you enjoyed the date and you’d like to meet her again, let her know. Either set up a date as you’re getting ready to say goodbye or tell her that you’ll call her again soon.
If you feel that you’re clearly not right for each other, be up front about it and let her know that you think she is a great woman but you believe that you’d be better suited as friends. Thank her for coming, say goodbye and leave. Whatever you do, don’t tell her you’ll call her when you know you’re not going to. After all, if she’s a friend or relative of someone you know then you don’t want it to get back to them that you were rude. When asked how it went, be polite and say that she’s a nice girl but that you don’t think that you’re a good match, or thank them for setting you up if you do hit it off. Whatever you say will almost certainly get back to her at some point so if she wasn’t the girl for you, it’s always best to be diplomatic rather than telling the whole truth, especially if it it was a really bad date.
Remember to go into a blind date with an open mind and make an effort to enjoy yourself. Blind dates may not be the best way to find a girlfriend or get laid, but it is good dating experience for any future first dates.