One of the most prominent mistakes men make is that they naturally assume that they must pursue the woman. This causes guys to make stupid little mistakes like looking for her approval, giving too many compliments, and trying to win her over. Doing so creates a desperate, needy impression, instantly turning women off.
Let me give you an example. My friend was ecstatic with this woman he’d met. “She’s not only good looking, but smart and funny too,” he said to me with a big smile on his face, “and she’s into the same things that I like.” He believed they were a match made in heaven. However, it was only a few weeks later when he told me that she had lost interest. What happened? The answer was in the last text message she had sent him: “I need some space….”
In this article, I will outline the secrets that will get women to chase you instead of the other way around and guarantee that this doesn’t happen to you.
Boost Your Confidence
Confidence is the key to success in life. It’s not just something that comes naturally but can be learned and developed over time. The more confident you are, the more likely women will be attracted to you. If a woman feels attracted to someone confident, she might have a crush on him or even want something serious with him.
Give Her Room to Chase You
My friend got obsessed with this woman, and that’s how he drove her out of his life. She saw him a few times, but eventually, the relationship ended. I’m sure she was interested in him initially: he’s the kind of guy who displays traits that women are initially attracted to. He’s passionate, charismatic, and lives life to the full – I can imagine he made a good first impression.
However, he applied the same enthusiasm to her. Instead of concentrating on his life, he focused everything on her, and it showed. Instead of going with the flow, he tried to drive the chemistry instead of letting it naturally develop.
If you listen in on women’s conversations, you will find that they talk a lot about men. They talk about the latest guy they just met and get excited about when he’ll call them again. This will only happen, though, if you allow room for it.
Don’t Obsess Over Her; Allow Her to Think About You
Always keep yourself busy and go about your daily business. Go to work, go to the gym, do your food shopping, go out with friends, have fun, chat with other women, then text her when you feel like it. “Hey, I was out shopping today, and this reminded me of you.”
My friend really pushed that woman to make her write, “I need some space.” He could only think about her instead of getting on with his life. Don’t even get anywhere near that point. Give her the space she needs and allow her to miss you from time to time.
Never Feel the Need to Explain Yourself
If you want to get women to chase you, never feel the need to explain yourself. If she asks you why you’re interested in her, don’t give an answer. Instead, simply state that you are. This will make her feel like you have no ulterior motives and will help you avoid coming off as desperate or needy—which can be a turn-off for women.
If you do or say something that seems to upset her, don’t explain yourself or do something to make her feel better. Instead, move on as if nothing happened. If you say something that she doesn’t like, it’s not your problem.
If you do feel the need to explain yourself, make sure it’s done in a lighthearted and non-serious way. Doing this will show her that you’re confident enough with yourself to be able to poke fun at yourself without feeling vulnerable or threatened by it.
The second you try to backpedal or explain yourself, then she’s won. You see, women often complain to see if they can manipulate you with their emotions. When she realizes you’re not the typical guy who falls for this, she’ll be attracted to you and respect you more.
Don’t Be Overly Aggressive to Get Her Attention
To get women to chase you, you want to be the kind of guy who is attractive and fun, but you also want to be the kind of guy who isn’t overly aggressive and needy.
To get women to chase you, do not be over-aggressive or too needy.
If a woman thinks you’re too aggressive, clingy, or jealous, she will probably think twice before giving in. So for your approach to work, it’s important that you don’t make any of these mistakes:
- Being pushy (or overly eager) will make her feel like she has no choice but to reject you since there are other guys out there who are just as desperate as you.
- Being desperate means being needy or clingy—which can come off as desperate itself if not done well enough! If anything else comes across as needy or clingy (like jealousy), this may end up working against rather than helping your cause.
Use Reverse Rapport
If she asks if she looks fat in those pants, say “Yes.” Asking this question is called reverse rapport. The idea behind it is that by saying yes to something obviously false (she doesn’t look fat), your opinion on the subject matter is less important than hers.
In other words, instead of arguing about whether or not she looks fat in those pants, you’re forcing her to think about whether or not she thinks she looks fat in them. If she doesn’t, the conversation can go on without any awkwardness; if she does think so, it gives her an opportunity to open up and talk about why.
To get women to chase you, you don’t need to be witty when using reverse rapport; just use it as a way of getting out of the argument without losing face in front of her.
To put it simply, do or say the opposite of what a guy would typically do when trying to get a woman to like him. However, do so in a sarcastic, overly serious manner. Your aim is not to give her what she expects, such as compliments and actions to win her approval.
For example, I was out with my friend in our local bar when he bumped into this woman that he’d been courting. She asked him, “Do you like what I’m wearing?” to which he replied, “Yes, I do… you look absolutely beautiful!” What he failed to realize was that she was testing him. Instead, he should have said something like, “Honestly, no. It makes your bum look big.” Thus, using reverse rapport.
If you find yourself in a similar situation, just remember, if she counter-challenges you, don’t justify yourself. Just laugh it off and move on to the next topic. Also, don’t be arrogant, do this in a joking manner. If you’re too serious, she’ll be immediately turned off. Just laugh it off as if you’re being sarcastic.
Don’t Court, Instead, Attract
Remember, attraction is not a choice. It’s not something you can force on someone. Instead, you have to be yourself and let her decide if she wants to be attracted to that person—which is you! If you’re constantly trying to date her and get her number, she won’t see anything attractive about your approach. Instead, try taking things slowly by getting to know each other first.
If you approach a woman with the aim of courting her by being friendly and submissive, looking for her approval, and giving her compliments, then you’re doing what every other man does when she gets approached.
When you court a woman, her natural response is to run, which makes you want her more, and in response, she’ll run further – you’re effectively chasing her away, which is the mistake my friend made.
Give It Time, Most Women Are Worth It
To get women to chase you, it is worth knowing that most women are worth the time, effort, and patience. You just have to put in the work. Set your standards high, but also be realistic with what you’re looking for.
If she likes everything that’s important to you, then it’s worth pursuing her. Don’t let fear of rejection keep you from getting what you want because if she doesn’t like or feel the same way about you, she’ll reject your advances anyways.
The most crucial thing is to make sure that she likes all the things that you like, whether it’s music, food, movies, etc. A relationship should be built on mutual interests so that at least there won’t be any fights over who gets to pick what they watch on TV every night!
To get women to chase you, you need to change your mindset and start attracting them. Show her that you’re a confident, masculine, dominant, and strong alpha male who doesn’t care if he gets the girl because he views himself as the prize. Be a challenge; before you know it, women will be chasing you instead of the other way around.